Spoiler alert: No one died.
Background: Matthew spends his Fridays at estate sales. He loves hunting for the bargains – opening old, moldy boxes – climbing through dirty barns – sorting through a hoarded basement. Over the years he has found many treasures – a single Wisconsin Fishing & Scouting pin that was the envy of the most dedicated of collectors, real samurai swords, artwork by famous artists that I’ve never heard of before, and first editions of books by several of America’s great authors.
About a year ago Matthew called me with a joyful pep in his voice that isn’t often heard. He said to me, “I found something at the sale. I have good news and I have weird news. The good news is that I bought an entire pallet of freeze-dried food. The weird news is that it’s from 1974.”
The estate sale was at the home of an individual that filled his entire basement with #10 cans of freeze-dried food. A majority of the food was Mountain House – a well know, respected brand. He purchased one can for a dollar or two, and called the Mountain House customer service number.
Side note: Mountain House has AMAZING customer service. A real person answered almost immediately. She was knowledgeable, witty, kind, and very excited for our treasure-trove of decades old food.
She told Matthew that the food was safe as long as it still sounded like a maraca when you shake the can (she didn’t technically say that, but that was the gist). Mountain House regularly performs taste tests food that is older than the 30 year shelf-date that they print on their products. She said that this older food is actually more delicious than their current freeze-dried food selections (she didn’t technically say that, but that was the gist) because of the higher sodium content and the addition of MSG. yumm…
Matthew went back into the house and bought every can they had – and filled the entire back of our SUV with cases of #10 cans. He then brought them home and filled our entire laundry room with cases of #10 cans.
The variety is staggering – from green beans to fruit salad. From franks and beans to potato chowder. With some (heavy) granola and a lot of beef stew. Hundreds of large cans.
Our plan was to open the cans, portion them out, a vacuum-seal those individual portions. Then, on the trail, we would cook the meals directly in the vacuum bags.
Over the past year we have debated when to open and try the food. We were slightly worried. How would Smith-Laubenstein stomachs handle food made during the Nixon administration?
In our preparation for our summer backpacking trip to Pictured Rocks and Isle Royale we knew we needed to try the food.
After an intense round of voting, Matthew, Charlotte, and I decided on Chicken and Rice. We cracked open the can. I was shocked to see how much food was in each can! It’s so light; I didn’t imagine that the can would be so full.
The freeze-dried food was entirely brown. Like beige on beige on beige. It smelled a bit like jerky, mixed with a faint dog-food smell (if I’m completely honest).
We decided to make a YouTube video of our journey making and tasting the food. I have several clips on my phone, but I’m too embarrassed to watch them. I don’t know how compelling we are as a couple.
We liked the food! There’s nothing wrong with it! It’s a bit bland, and salty, but that’s to be expected.
I spent a few days vacuuming sealing the food. We DIYed some cozies (made out of dumpster-dived insulated bags). Ten cans of individually portioned food.
We set out on the trail and ate well for 2 weeks.
We all made lists of our favorite foods. We all LOVED the spaghetti. We all got sick of the beef stew. The potato chowder was delicious, but so so so salty. We weren’t big fans of the mac & cheese (devastating, I know). The fruit salad was delicious when eaten plain. The strawberries, unsweetened, were very sour and not at all delicious.
The laundry room is still full-to-bursting with #10 cans. We are hoping to use them on the AT next year. We’re still trying to figure out how to mail-drop this food.
At $5 a case of eight #10 cans, it’s the cheapest eating around!
And we’re all still around to brag about it.
